Countdown

Saturday marked one week before Harrison’s bar mitzvah. There was much to do – finalizing decorations, organizing airport transportation, helping Harrison with his preparations, creating gift bags, and much more. Its a lot to think about – in addition to working, enrolling in my next round of graduate school classes, and planning my first New York book event tour that will take place days after the bar mitzvah.

It might be surprising, then, to hear me say that it was perfect that my brother and his family were visiting this weekend. Yet, I couldn’t think of a better gift. The minute he, Rachel, and his two kids, ages 4 and 10 months, walked through the door, a calm set in, and love spread exponentially.

Harrison and Olivia spent endless hours with their little cousins, showering them with attention and affection, teaching them new games, reading, playing and hiking. When Rachel marveled at their demonstrative love, I pointed out that they had learned from the best example – their own cousins and extended family. Whenever we return to Wisconsin or New York, or when family visits us, age gaps disappear. Harrison and Olivia are always loved unconditionally by their cousins,aunts, uncles, and grandparents,too. It would follow they would show the same type of love to their younger cousins.

I devoured the opportunity to cook big family meals. The kids grinned, as did the parents, when we laid out platters of food family style, shared blessings, and lingered at the table after dinner, sharing riddles and stories.

“Do you wish you had more kids?” Rachel asked me privately while I prepared dinner one night.

“How did you know?” I answered.

“Because you were made for this. You’re in your element.”

As I watched four year-old Aaron do a dance-walk across the dining room, humming to himself one morning, as his little sister smiled on, I flashed back to Harrison and Olivia at those ages. How did that time pass so quickly? Andy and Rachel were enveloped by parenting young children. I was planning my adolescent son’s bar mitzvah.

I wanted time to stand still all weekend with my brother and his family. This was what I wanted life to feel like all the time – no responsibilities, a house brimming with people, no schedules. But I knew I had to get back to real life. Sunday afternoon I finally showed some willpower and claimed my need to run errands for next Saturday’s event.

I suddenly had a full appreciation for the tradition of bar mitzvahs. Not only is it a threshold into adulthood for our son,  it is a great time to pause, and take notice of this moment in time. We’ve had thirteen beautiful years with Harrison. Five years from now we’ll be writing his pack list for college. And you can bet I’m going to hundreds of family meals between now and then.

Tags: bar mitzvah, family meals, mothers

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