Abundance

It was quite a day. Not only is it the High Holy Days – my favorite time of year – it also happens to be my birthday. It is absolutely impossible to feel anything but joy and abundance on this day. I have to wonder what I did to deserve such loving people in my life.

I think it is magical how, through life cycle events, the meaning of life becomes so simple. I experience it a births, funerals, b’nei mitzvahs, weddings, our family retreat…. and my birthday gives me the same reminder. The only thing in life that matters is love. It’s just not that complicated.

And today was not about quantity, but quality. Friends who wrote moving messages on cards, flowers that were dropped off at my door, exquisite handmade gifts from my children, dinner made by my former husband…. every single phone call, card, text message and email touched me.  Just as I remember every face at my mother-in-law’s funeral, I was moved by every gesture made for me on my birthday. Really? I ask the Divine through a smile and tears. Do I really deserve this?

But what I’m really crying about is that a day like this only reveals what already exists every day, if only we slow to see it. The friendships, the love, the children…. love abounds every day. When I hold a book event, I am grateful for every person who takes the time to be there. When I attend a meeting for work, each employee who participates makes a difference. I think they key is to know that we make an impact on others. It can be so easy for me to underestimate. We are all connected. We just let it shine on days like these.

Last year my friend, Raegan, told me that she always expected me to book our cattle drive, then cancel. “I figure I have a 50-50 chance you’ll show up.” I was appalled I had such a reputation. As I reflected on it, I realized that I did that in many areas of my life. Schedule a lunch, then find I’m “too busy.” Plan a hike, then postpone. What I failed to see is that it hurt people. While I cancelled because I thought I wasn’t that important to others, the message interpreted was that the other person didn’t matter to me.

I have strived to change that, and today I am reminded what a difference we make to one another. Birthday, hike, meeting, lunch… showing up is powerful. Throw in a dose of joy and celebration, and we can move mountains with our love.

Today, on my birthday, in the mid-point of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, I am grateful for the abundance of love in my life. And now, looking to the New Year, I know one of the wrongs that I will strive to correct – to feel that gratitude every day.

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