Pinching
We’ve all received them – those great emails that make your day. The uplifting message from a friend, wisecrack from an old college roommate, the itinerary for your family’s upcoming visit. Even a “thank you mom” note from your child pops up now and then. It’s good these appear amid the more mundane, necessary notes, or we would have little motivation to check our email at all.
But, now and then, we get a doozy (yes, it’s a word – I looked it up). Like yesterday when I opened my email to find a note from my publisher that my proofs were ready for one last reading before going to print. ”I’m actually reading this,” I thought to myself. ”My publisher notified me that my proofs for my book are in my in-box.”
That was my initial reaction – but only fleetingly. Before I could marinate in the loveliness of it all, a nasty little ”Yikes!” seared through my glow. I thought about the work that I had ahead of me – re-reading fourteen chapters, scheduling my book tour, sending out my own press releases in addition to my publisher’s mailings. Calls, copies, letters, spreadsheets…. how was I to fit it in? Add in my consulting job, parenting two children, and the demands of grad school, and I quickly became overwhelmed. I did what any adult with excellent coping mechanisms would do. I put my computer to sleep and wandered through the house aimlessly. And I cleaned my closet.
I missed my pinch. I wanted it back. In my insta-stress, I had lost sight that I had walked down the buffet line of wishes, eagerly extending my plate, and was given every sumptuous dish I had asked for. Since my childhood, I knew that I absolutely, positively wanted to be a mother. The gift was delivered twice over, and truly, I am thankful every day. Since my early 30’s, the aspiration of going to graduate school turned over and over in my mind. I now attend the most enlightening, exciting program in Integral Psychology in the United States. I yearned for freedom in schedule through consulting work, wanting to take on a client whom I believed in. I work in business development for a Green builder. And I wanted to take my writing to a new level as a published author.
I returned to my computer, clicked back to my inbox, and opened the attachment from my publisher. There it was – the proofs for The New Jew. I didn’t type – I didn’t work. I scrolled through the pages and took it in. Soon I would have to pick up the kids from school, and think about the reading I had to do for tomorrow’s class. Somehow, though, time didn’t seem to matter. For the moment, I simply digested.
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Chris Says: